wednesday observations: take a meeting

"HOW ABOUT A MEETING at 5 p.m. this afternoon," the email said. "Can't. Sorry. Need to pick up the boys at soccer practice. How about next Thursday?" came the response.

"Sorry. We're on family vacation. How about 4pm next Thursday," I sent back. "Nope, can't do it — it's our 10th anniversary."

And, so it went. After a few additional back and forths and a reconfiguration of two of our daily meetings, we were able to skillfully negotiate a time for our one-hour business meeting.

Then I sat back in my office chair and gave a silent chuckle as I came to the realization that only two professional women would have this kind of exchange. Were the obstacles of soccer practice, family vacation and anniversary dinners of greater concern (and permanence) than the effort to move the 10 a.m. meeting or 2 p.m. phone conference? Maybe after all our years in the business world we know that in most cases, meetings can wait, but your kids can't. Especially if it's your turn to supply snack.

But truth be told, the decisions of work vs. family are not easy. That's why I like Suzie Welch's rule of 10-10-10, also the title of her recent book. Welch recommends whenever you find yourself faced with a situation where no solution will please all, ask yourself three questions:

• What are the consequences of my decision in 10 minutes?
• In 10 months?
• And in 10 years?

Your answers, she says, will tell you what you need to know and also help you to explain your choices to the family, friends and coworkers.

"Breakfast meeting Tuesday?" I texted a friend. "Can't," she responsed, "My turn 2 drop kids."

Sigh. Here we go again.

sunday stories: aunt sylvia's closet

AS I ENGAGED IN THE SEASONAL RITUAL of switching over the clothes in my closet from summer to fall, my mind drifted to memories of my Aunt Sylvia ― a New York native who was my early guide as I began navigating the concepts of "style." When she passed away a few years ago, my sister Sandra and I carefully sorted through a collection of fashion memories as we cleared out the walk-in closet in her Florida condo.

We sifted through the closets, drawers and storage boxes that housed sweater sets, pantsuits (Hilary Clinton had nothin' on Aunt Sylvia), matching bags and shoes. We found clothes with price tags still on them. We counted 32 house dresses, representing her daily after-work transition as she would change into one at the end of each day (to wear between the time she arrived home and before she dressed for bed). We discovered organized drawers of undergarments and unearthed expensive scarves preserved in their original gift boxes.

Soon we were laying out her outfits on the bed, coordinating the shoes and the jewelry into her memorable ensembles. We'd take a moment to admire them before they were packed away into the boxes for charity ― a pause, a smile, a small tribute to her talent.

While certainly appreciative, my cousin Larry admitted if it had been left up to him he would have dumped all the clothing into several green garbage bags, dropped them off at Goodwill and called it a day. We stood there in disbelief. Unceremoniously dumped? Never. Touched by a maven's influence, obviously only two sisters could give their Aunt's carefully curated collection of clothes the proper goodbye that a lifetime of thoughtful fashion decisions deserved.

friday finds: apron strings re-attached

EVEN BETTY CROCKER would have been beside herself. As I walked the floor of the 2009 New York International Gift Fair, I was overwhelmed by booth display after booth display of that unmistakable symbol of domesticity: the humble apron. They were everywhere.

The designs of these kitchen-inspired entrepreneurial efforts were not your Food Network, white-aproned, professional-chef -looking variety. They were ruffled and retro, modern and patterned, diva and domestic. Oh — and cute. Kitsch*n Glam stood out with its variety of styles and accessories, including tea towels, potholders, oven mitts, men's aprons and baby bibs. An everyday kitchen ensemble, if you will.

Seems that with everyone heading into the kitchen to prepare a family meal, entertain friends or bake their latest batch of specialty cupcakes, the apron has become a utilitarian accessory once again. Hard to fathom for many Boomer women, who longed to cut the binding ties that the apron strings represented. But for the Xers and the Millennials the stigma has disappeared, and what remains is the ability to trade on a rich history of homespun goodness. The likes of which we're all craving in these uncertain times.

But this stringed fashion phenomenon is not showing up only in a store near you. A quick search on etsy.com turned up 16,304 results for handmade aprons. Certainly handy for a holiday gift. While writer and apron archaeologist EllyAnne Geisel has made a newfound career from aprons, including publishing three best-selling books, designing new patterns and producing a traveling museum show.

What's next? Well, mark November 25, 2009 on your calendar ... and get ready to Tie One On.

wednesday observations: nyigf

sunday stories: quilting in the sisters hood

IS THERE A MORE PERFECT PLACE for women to gather than in a city called Sisters? For the past 35 years, on every second Saturday in July, this small Oregon town has been hostess to passionate quilters and enthusiasts from near and very far.

This past July was no exception, with The Sisters Outdoor Quilt Show drawing a crowd of 30,000 quilting fans, who walked the downtown streets to view the 1,200 quilts hung in, around and on the local buildings.

As true to the legacy of quilting, each quilt display in the non-juried show had a "Quilt Story" pinned to the corner.

While the origins of quilting are about creating beauty and comfort from essentially scrap material, there is the important element of self-expression that emerged over the years and has become the golden thread that seamlessly stitches generation to generation. When women did not have the option to learn to read or write, it was the needle, thread and fabric that became their means for storytelling and preserving family history.

Quilting has long offered women a chance to gather, socialize, share news and offer support, and this event is no exception. Although the official quilt show is just the one day, there are activities the week prior, including classes, events, artist receptions and even a musical production called, appropriately, "Quilters, The Musical".

The mood is unlike any festival you have attended. Though packed and crowded, the estrogen-infused air leads all to be good-spirited, willing to share their tips and show their stuff. There are a few loyal husbands and good-natured male companions scattered throughout the mostly female crowd — but when in Sisters, on this particular weekend, it's really all about the ladies.

friday finds: thinking of napa

wednesday observations: from the garden

THE GARDENER NURTURES MORE than native plants, container gardens and vegetable patches. Artistic expression finds a fertile proving ground right beyond the backdoor. A discerning eye and a skilled hand can shape landscapes into treasures created from pots or plants, cement, glass, a stump or a simple twig.

monday quotes & notes